Death tracked him all his days.
Darkness clouded the once vibrant eyes.
The boy with no past cried.

Juanita Aurelle Yorke, you are missed.
We all loved the Thanksgivings that we
Spent together. How bright your hair glowed,
Pure white, like new snow upon a pine tree.
A kinder person than you, I won't see
Again in this life. You made the softest
Chocolate-chip cookies for the family,
Gooey and sweet. They were the tastiest.
When I would spend the night at your address,
We would stay up too late playing Scrabble;
And then you'd share my room so that no pest,
no monster, no beast would roar or burble.
Despite the family, you died alone.
Now from this sad world a bright light has flown.

You left my heart broken.
You left my soul shattered.
You left me hollow.
     I'll be empty inside evermore.

Love is not like a flower.
Love is in no way like a butterfly.
Love bears no resemblance to velvet or silk.
Love is like a broadsword.

A broadsword is hard steel.
It is sharp and it is strong.
It destroys those who seek to destroy its wielder.
But if wielded wrongly, it may destroy it owner.

A broadsword is shiny and it is smooth.
It reflects light and deflects blows.
Blood and grime adhere not to its blade,
So longs as that blade is well tended and oiled.

Love is not like a river.
Love is in no way like a tree.
Love bears no resemblance to rocks or forests.
Love is like a broadsword.

The candle burns on
the table. Others burn far
from it. It's alone.

The flame gutters and
dies. Darkness falls upon the
table, unnoticed.

When I die, who will remember? Who will care?
As I live, who cares? Does anyone
really give a fuck?
I don't think anyone gives a rat's ass about me,
and I can't even blame them.
I can't expect them to spare a pile of steaming
shit a second thought.

What does it matter? Or rather
what do I matter?
What do I, an unlamentable faggot, matter?

I'll never be happy, never be free,
never find what I seek.
Why can't I be someone else?
     Anyone else.
     Anyone but me.
I'm empty. A candy coating of
     humanity over a pile of dung.

Life, Death,
Time, Space,
Fire, Water,
Air, Earth,
Elements of Existence
And Forces of Thought.

Lightning Strike,
Thunder Crack,
Pour of Rain.

Whistle of Wind,
Grinding Grit,
Scouring of Sand.

Blinding Light,
Echoing Explosions,
Lava & Brush Burn.

Clouds Build,
Tornados Twist,
Gust of Wind.

Forces of Thought
And Elements of Existence,
Earth, Air,
Water, Fire,
Space, Time,
Death, Life...

I look at you, across the room.
I love you, and now you know.
I creep you out. I run and hide;
it pisses you off, but I don't know
what else to do.
I love you, but you won't let me in now.
Won't even talk to me.
You were my best friend, but I've ruined it,
like I do everything else.
It hurts, I hurt, all there is for me
is pain.

Once my best friend, yet now I am nothing.
That is the only thing which I desire now,
the only thing left for me to seek,
nothing.
Was I ever your friend?
Was I ever anything?
Could I be again?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't think so.

End me, please, this I beg.
Give me the void which I do crave.

Darkness there was,
black, and unending.
It reached from the depths of eternity
to the void's pinnacle.

Cold, Silent, Odorless.

An explosion, in time lapse.
First flickers of light, glowing fingers stretching
into the emptiness.

Fire and Ice.
Treble and Bass.
Fragrance and Stench.

Day and night, born of the flames
in an instant of reaction.

Creation.

The Devil's blood right now ran red
As he lay quietly in bed
His guards found him to be quite dead.

The lesser fiends rejoic'd in Hell
'Til from chasms deep as a well --
A new lord rose and they could tell

That they were in for it big now.
Hell did tremble again and how.
A mighty queen arose somehow.

Baked dirt, flat and wind scoured,
Reaches to horizon's edge, and beyond,
Broken only by the rare patch of
Long dead scrub or cactus.

Ancient, shards of volcanic glass,
Black and glossy, wait.
Eager to rend flesh,
To nourish the soil with blood.

Searing sun upon barren waste.
Thirsty dirt devours harsh light,
Only to vomit it forth;
Heat dances above the dirt.

Sweat on the brow,
Flows into the empty sky,
The near perfect void.
Hot, silent, still.

The radiant light of Heaven Shines down upon his brow. My flesh strains against Shackles of my mind. Bindings born of worries - What ifs & darkened thoughts - Whirling fast enough to hold me. I long to touch him, To stroke, To caress. Long to proclaim my feelings, yet My self-forged bonds hold & Gag me. Fear... of retribution, What if he isn't? What if he is? Bound silent to the dark earth While others come and take him. The radiance slips away, And distant, happy stars dance.

Hellish thoughts, I hurt, I suffer. Loneliness fills me. Lonely birthday, My minds eye bleeds forth All my life's blood. What does it matter? Who would notice if I were gone? And of those, who would really care? Would he? No. So what does it matter? Maybe it is better to die on The day of my birth. I see only pain, feel only The empty solace of hatred. All is nothing, what the fuck Does it matter?

I'm empty.
I'm as empty as the eternity that lies before me,
and I know that I'll never be filled.
There is no love for me in this world.
There is no love for me in any world.
Forever incomplete,
there is no happy ending for me.
I'll never live happily ever after,
but suffer alone forever.
Is this Hell? Is Hell in the here and now?
But there's no escape, no fullfillment waiting for me elsewhere;
no redemption.
I hate everything.
I love everything.
Nothing loves me.

No happy ending.
I hope he gets who he wants.
I’m always alone.

I'm afraid of being alone.
I'm afraid of dying alone.
I'm afraid of making my friends mad at me,
that they might hurt me, that they don't really care about me,
and that they wouldn't miss me.
I'm afraid all the time.
I'm afraid of time, of growing older, of going on alone.
I'm afraid of being with men, of doing the wrong thing,
of not being a good lover, of having too short a penis,
of not having the same stamina they do, and
of not being attractive enough.
Yet, I'm afraid to work out, afraid to make myself look better.
I'm so afraid of failure, that I'd rather do nothing, and change nothing.
Yet, I'm afraid of never changing, of staying at this point in my life
forever.

In the beat up white Camry
Covered outside in rain spots,
Inside with dirt and long dead yard clippings;
Its slow dying, long-suffering brakes
Gasping still in agony,
Crying out in anger against the long
Mountainous drive behind, and
Trembling in terror of the return;
The much abused, much beaten
Vehicle that had navigated through
The labyrinthine streets of
More than a dozen cities strewn
Across half a continent.

He embraced me with both arms,
A gesture that I half-heartedly returned.
It was bittersweet and awkward.
The A/C, so great in the depths
Of summer, made the already
Cool mountain air frigid.
My immense key chain -
Filled with keys from old jobs,
Cars, homes, and long forgotten places -
Jingled loudly in the ignition,
As the rattling of the engine
Shook the entire car like a
Vibrating bed in a cheap motel.

All too soon his sweet touch was gone,
And his bag was gone from the
Backseat. Leaving behind only
a too little used sunscreen, and the
Refuse of life - fast food wrappers,
Spent tissues, crumpled cups, and
Other filth left to lie so long only for
Lack of a reason to clean.

One night...
As he was alone in the predawn hours,
The underworld element beckoned in a dream,
As if offering an elusive treasure.
A well-known sorcerer who was brought to trial at Amiens in 1825,
Last of the Gothic kings in Spain.

Suddenly a great chasm opened before him,
The specter sat down on his bed, took his hand,
Looked at him with his fiery eyes and said:
"Good evening! What did you accomplish this afternoon?"
"Nothing!"
"That's not true."
"So denied, so I lied."
"As you sow, so shall you reap."
"You're the one using me as a muse."
"I have to, otherwise I'll NEVER get out of here.
Language is my province. I reserve the right to fuck with it."

The disillusion had been gradual.
This was school, everyday hours of classes.
If anything horribly cool happens tonight,
He will try and remember it in vivid detail so
He can describe it later.

Should I...?
Might he...?
I don't know.
I never know.
I don't think I'm worthy.
     You're to dumb.
     You're to eager.
     You're to plain.
Why does he talk to me?
Does he...?
Why can't I just ask him?
     You're afraid.
What if the answer is no?
What if the answer is yes?
     That might be worse.
My heart exposed, my burden lifted...
     But what if he goes away?
A silly question.
     He doesn't feel that way,
     Not about you.
But why does he talk to me?
It's maddening.
It's inspiring.
     It's inspiring the most damned of all emotions.
It's inspiring Hope.
I'm fucked.

I am darkness, I am night,
I am corruption, I am might,
I am older than the eldest star,
I held power beyond the gods.
Then the others came from afar,
They destroyed my power against the odds,
They did sunder my once mighty realm,
They then claimed the universe's helm.
Below the fiery vault I did slumber,
While the new gods increased their number.
Awake now am I,
So let the gods in their temples shake.
For my minions do now fly,
The power I once held, I will now retake.
Once done am I,
In eternal darkness will the world lie.

Darkness,
Life,
Spark in the Night.

Feral Eyes,
From Beneath,
Glow in the Night.

Kill,
Warm Blood,
Death in the Night.

Nourishment,
Food,
Health in the Night.

Children,
Life,
Birth in the Night.

Time,
Age,
Decay in the Night.

Soil,
Plants,
Growth in the Night.

Bite,
Chew,
Teeth in the Night.

Darkness,
Life,
Spark in the Night.

Feral Eyes,
From Beneath,
Glow in the Night...

Unasked for birth of an unwholesome union,
I sit here in Daedalus's construct - waiting.

Soon they will come - gifts from my stepfather.
Would that he might send something else
To sate the other of my twin hungers -
My eternal hunger, stoked by the man
Who thinks only to hide his wife's shame.
It dominates my waking hours.

I long to fill the void offered by the ever twisting ways.
Yet my stomach groans
And always I give in to the baser urge of the two -
Denying myself the conversation that I so crave.

My prey runs blindly through corridors
I have known since my birth.
Confused they always double back,
And always am I there -
Waiting.

I am the Other, the inverted image,
A shameful self, which must be hidden.

Red, green, and blue blops, bloops, and schloops. Magnets burn in greenest, brightest dark. Deep hollows swirl with rummest velvet. The Shluesh moves through darkest, bluest light. It moves onward, not walking, not flying, not swimming or gliding. Perhaps the shluesh almost reverse creeps onward, or perhaps not. It moves not through air, nor through stone, flame, or sea. Yet the shluesh moves onward; not, though, through time, not through space. The Shluesh moves through no thing, yet not through nothing (or anything). The Shluesh hesitates, almost pauses, as another shluesh moves onward quickly, perpendicularly. The shluesh almost hears, almost smells, "Ooolg Blop 'k'shll Slk Squch." The shluesh moves onward once before as again. The shluesh un-bes, yet dies not. 'Schloop' then a nothing which was almost just something. Earlier, a something which was almost just nothing later on. The shluesh re-un-un-bes, it moves quickly onward in a slow patternific movement, almost. It beholds the scented light of red, green, and blue blops, bloops, and schloops.

Toad creeps in caverns deep,
Into the boiling bog falls the tiny frog,
The heart of stone is frozen hard,
Freeze downward toward the steel,
Glaciers form from molten metal far below...

Ice spreads across the land,
The people fall, Frozen hard,
All that lives to ice it gives,
Far, far below laughs the toad,
Buried all in snow and steel...

Ships of seven flee to the Luna,
Lives rebuilt, Realms form anew,
Lands in total peace and harmony,
Deaths in unison of many,
Lessons of war learned...

... through toad that creeps in caverns oh so far, far below.

Why do I go on? Why do I let myself live?
I should just curl up in a ball and starve
myself to death. What would it matter?
Why do I go to work? What's the point? I'll
never have love, never have anyone of my own.
What the fuck does it matter?

I watch my grandmother, slipping away,
day by day,
and all I feel is envy.
She was loved, truly loved.
She has children, grandchildren who will carry
her memoryt with them.

What the fuck will I have? No love.
No love.
No children to remember me. No one to care.
I will die alone, in a cold hospital bed.
No one will be there to attend my funeral, no one
to pay for my tombstone. Are there still pauper's graves?

I've lost so much. So many days. So many years.
So many friends lost along my way.
Nothing have I found. Nothing Have I gained,
but a hole in my heart and a tear in my eye.
I've wasted money. I've wasted time.
I've wasted my life.
Why shouldn't I waste myself?

What perversity of hope stays my hand and
keeps me here?

A punching bag.
That's what I feel like sometimes.
Whenever someone has a bad day,
they get to take it out on me.

Just once I'd like to feel like I'm being viewed as a person;
Not just as someone else's emotional dumping grounds.

Quake of earth from on high,
Chambers shake within caverns deep,
Skin of earth, Eyes of coal,
Quake of earth sent from on high,
Strike at those in land of light,
Army crawls from caves below,
Thunder strike, Clash of steel,
Light and night do battle,
Death rides rampant up and down...

Skin of toad, Bones of man,
Strikes out across the land,
Night and light both shall fall,
Claw of toad above all,
Light and night join together,
Army of dusk, Strike at toads,
Bones of man ripped from toad,
Blood and skin fall to earth,
Destroying forever toadish mirth,

Dusk remains upon green blood,
Joined forever in quake of earth

e enters from stage left, to find é sitting down sipping some coffee.

e - Where were you last night? I waited at that bar for 3 hours.

é shifts uncomfortably.

e - Nothing to say for yourself, nothing at all?

é - I've decided that I'm straight.

e - What?

e sits down loudly.

é - I was out last night with ó. We fucked. I'm sorry.

é stands and leaves.

e covers his face with his hands and sobs quietly.

Collapse and feel your worth.
Collapse and know the Word; the Word that will damn us all.

When I see your smile, tears run down my face.

I would never let you fall.
I would stand with you forever.
I would be there for you through it all,
     even if saving you sends me to Hell.

Use me as you will.
Pull my strings just for a thrill.
We are wrought with dirt and filth, washed in second sight.
Woven through the scum, lost in endless night.
Turn the light off, and leave me where I lay.
Bring the night on, not another day.

My skies are turning grey and I feel my worth.
I speak the Word, the Word that will damn us all.
Alone and empty, I fall on my face,
     and scream the Word that will damn us all.

Hope.

In the shadows of the darkest day, and
By the glow of the brightest, moonlit night.
In these places at these times we flit freely
Through your mind. Visions of fantasy, of
Deepest dungeons, of mighty dragons, and
Valiant knights. Scenes of soaring starships through
Translucent ether, laser beams in clouds
Full of the infant cries of newborn stars.

In the shadows of the darkest day, and
By the glow of the brightest, moonlit night.
From these realms of your mind, we creep in through
Printed word on pulped wood, and panes of
Glass upon boxes, which are seen to be
Infernal by some, wondrous by others.
We nourished the voices which flew from the
Ether, to the realms of many and none.

In the shadows of the darkest day, and
By the glow of the brightest, moonlit night.
We are the shadows in forgotten halls.
We are the voices in madmen's twisted minds.
We are the dreams seen last, before morning.
We are forces from the dark void beyond.
We are your thoughts, as we are your feelings.
We are your enemies. We are your friends.

I am shit, a huge smelly piece of dung.
I can't have anything, everything I make is
shit, and it all comes crawling back to me.
I drown in a pile of my own feces.

Skin of earth, Hair of moonlight,
Skin of sky, Hair of sunlight,
So come the ones with hearts of love,
Skin of day, Hair of wood,
So come the ones with hearts of coal,
Rods of fire, Arrows of death,
Walls of stone, Loops of thorn,
So do the ones with hearts of coal,
Rods of fire, Night is day,
Spelling enchantments of light and of dark,
So come the ones with souls aflame,
Death to all, Heart of coal or of love,
Slash of sword, Piercing blow,
So go the ones with souls aflame,
A quickening of knowledge, Spark the Change,
Embers fall, Day is gone,
So die the ones with hearts of coal,
Frolicking in perfect twilight,
Skin of sky, Hair of sunlight,
Skin of earth, Hair of moonlight

I can live without you, that's no problem.
I've made it through years without you,
And a thousand years Would be worth the wait.

My love for you will definitely change,
Like a newborn baby it will mature.
But will it even be born? Will it die?

You are not everything I need in life.
Fuck, I don't even need you in my life.
You are not everything I want in life;
But I do want you.

I will hold you close, but not all the time;
So don't always hold me close, give me room.
You and I are not one being, not one soul.
Together two are stronger than apart,
If those two can ever find each other.

Who will save your soul?
Full price for half and half price for whole.
There was once a strapling young lad,
The wolf in little boy's clothing, who stood
About the creature summoned by
The four learned men during
the last week of school.
Is anybody out there? Company
Makes one human, not
Just a spoonful of sugar.
"Someday I will do what the voices say," I
Ecstatically thought while in the
Artists' Spotlight --
Where t is time and
We will apply Lanchester's model to solve
Polynomials and rational functions to facilitate the
Removal of pollutants from jet fuel, thus enabling the cleanup of the
Slope fields. The
Existence and uniqueness of solutions or Roots
can be determined by zooming in upon
The complex plane.
When does Newton's Method fail? With
The definite integral, or anywhere in
A library of functions dealing with
Cricket chirps.
First and foremost we must learn
How to learn electronically, for
using computers is strange; especially when applying to the
University of Arizona
With the royal honors. They
had been good enough gals,
The Archduke did not understand why the
Proprietors of fate
(Regarding the Axeman) had killed them.
The wraith was gone. Then
The axe fell and the gal's
face seemed to crack open like an egg. For the axeman was
fond of jazz music, being the spawn of
Devils in the nether region of
Cold and craven fiends who
Lived in an elaborate fantasy world
All in service of the brotherhood of man.

Colors
Swirl
Endlessly
Through the Night

Scents
Boil
Eternally
Through the Night

Flavors
Melt
Continually
Through the Night

Sounds
Roar
Ceaselessly
Through the Night

Sensations
Flow
Imortally
Through the Night

Time doth flow
From A to B.
Interminable.
Birth to Death.
Beginning to End.
Gone in a moment,
The merest blink of an eye,
Never to return.
The effects,
The consequences,
Linger on.
Despite fondest wishes and
Fortunes of men,
Moments pass
To never return again...

You're late.

I've been waiting ten years for you
and you couldn't even be bothered to call?
Why did you do this to me?

I've never done anything to you.
I didn't run over your pet dog,
I know because I've never run a dog over.
Likewise for your pet cat.
Did you have a bird?
I've run over a few of those.
If I ran over your bird, then I'm sorry,
please come home.
If I didn't though, then where the fuck are you?
You are so getting a piece of my mind,
when I find you.

The sky is green,
The sea is red,
The soil is blue,
The plants are brown,
The flowers white,
The snow yellow.
How do you really know,
That this is not so.